The other night, I was invited over to a couple of friends’ air-conditioned apartment to avoid the rain and humidity while helping mix and roll out some hand-made pasta. Six delicious ricotta-stuffed ravioli, one beer, two glasses of cava, and a glass of wine later, I polled them on a question I have been thinking about lately:
Is sex appeal something that can be learned or is it just inherent?
I admit it. I had ulterior and personal motives to my question that my friends saw right away.
“What is this really about?” they asked.
How shall I put this in a way that isn’t exaggerated? Alright, here we go. I am probably one of the least sexy people that you will ever meet. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have poor body image. If I may so myself, I think that, on the ugly-pretty scale, I definitely lean towards pretty. It’s not a personality problem either. As you can tell from this blog, I spend a lot of time in my head and, believe you me, it is a great place to hang out. It all comes back to sex appeal and my lack of it.
For example, despite the amount of times that it has been explained to me, I don’t know or understand what flirting is.
“You just act more interested in whatever that person has to say,” they say.
“So, it’s being fake,” I say.
“No, because you really are interested.”
“So, it’s just talking?”
“No, it’s more than just talking.”
“What about fart jokes?”
Oh, I also feel uncomfortable touching people, so those lingering handshakes and under-the-table footsie games can be ruled out.
My little poll evolved into a thoughtful critique on my romantic abilities.
“Ha! It’s like when Kenneth on 30 Rock says ‘I’m a good sex person!’” I interrupt.
“Maybe your problem is that you focus more on 30 Rock than you do on sex…”
That little taste of truth was quite the conversation killer, let me tell you.
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5 comments:
I could make some really awkward comment saying how sexy you are, but I'm pretty sure that would make us all uncomfortable, including the entire Internet.
I don't necessarily believe in a general "sex appeal"--I mean sure, there's Angelina Jolie on the cover of the newest Vanity Fair, but that's so one-note and typical. You have sex appeal when someone finds you attractive, and try as we might, that's not often something we can control. Which is not to say that only other people control our sex appeal, necessarily; it's just that the sexiness is being your original self. How else can you explain being hit on at the grocery store whilst unshowered and adorned in sweat pants?
Quoting 30 Rock is so totally sexy.
You are a smart and confident girl and i think what's sexier, not to be a creep, is that you don't play into the idea that girls are supposed to giggle and act like an idiot around guys just because...well, just because. I know what you mean about not understanding flirting. I always feel like I come off as an asshole towards men because most of the time I'm not all "ohhh hahaha omg lol that is soooo funny" or whatever. This is really inarticulate and incoherent, but hopefully you get what I mean. Keep quoting 30 Rock. I too hope that there is a man out there who will find my burping and "that's what she said" jokes sexy. Anyway. bonne courage.
I model my behavior, dress, and meaningful glances on those of Rosanna Arquette in the following made-for-TV movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0241251/
Hello sex appeal!!
Thanks for the kind words, yall. I'd write more, but I'm out bonin'
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