Carryin' the Banner

Children with open and hungry mouths wait in the breadline in 1992's Newsies.

I was once extremely obsessed with the movie Newsies. Some of you are imagining a little girl, excitedly bundled up in front of television and awaiting ABC’s annual showing of the movie. Her 4-10 year old heart beats nervously as she awaits the combination of her two favorite things: song and film. Maybe she has gone as far as to place a newsboy cap atop her halo of white blonde curls. Stop. I will now confess the reality of the situation. Yes, I did love musicals. I did dress up in costume. Cute, right? Not really as I was actually fifteen years old at the peak of my fandom.
Not pretty enough to have a boyfriend or wild enough to go out partying with the rest of my classmates, the summer after my freshman year consisted mainly of three settings: school, home, and my best friend’s house. In the morning, I would go to summer school because I had failed algebra the semester before. After class, as I was walking home, I would buy three large bread rolls and a Snapple green tea. Two of the rolls would be gone by the time I got to my house and the third would soon be slathered in mayo and honey mustard, then layered with turkey that I had found in the refrigerator. With my sandwich, I would drink my tea and do my homework, all the while talking across the table to my imaginary boyfriend. If that didn’t make me so depressed that all I wanted to do was read fan fiction on the internet or take a nap, I would bike over to my friend’s house. At her house, we would take a box of fudgesicles into her basement bedroom that smelled like mildew and spoiled food. Ice cream bar after ice cream bar, we would sit in the dark, watching movies. It was here that I was first introduced to the gripping and song driven story about turn-of-the-century newspaper sellers and their battle against Joseph Pulitzer (portrayed confusedly by Robert Duvall).
I don’t know why, but, for some reason, Newsies became an escape for me that summer. We chose our favorite characters, bought costumes and props accordingly, learned the songs, and even attempted the dances. All the while, I hid my love of Newsies with a shroud of irony. It probably did start off that way, but I soon found myself craving to hear Christian Bale’s weak New York accent and terrible singing voice wail, “So that’s what you cawl a fayyymly. Mudda, dauhta, fadda, son. Guess that everything you hoyd about is twu.” I did internet “where are they now” searches and watched the lesser cast members’ more recent movies. Did you know that Mush was in Mighty Ducks 2… AND 3! AND SISTER, SISTER! OMGEEE! Sadly for me, this also demonstrated how, unless you’re Christian Bale, you get less successful and, more importantly, less attractive as you get older.
I have moved on from those dark basement newsy days, but have carried quite a bit with me from that summer. For example, I carried the double chin and pasty skin, gained from my eating habits and lack of sun, with me through at least half of my sophomore year. That was fun. Till this very day, I will occasionally be watching TV and will recognize an extra, only to yell, a moment later, “Hey! That’s Crutchy from Newsies!” Sometimes, while riding my bike home, I will find myself humming ‘Seize the Day’ and yes, in spite of my better efforts, I still remember almost all of the words to each song. I am surprisingly willing to demonstrate this to anyone willing to ask. Another thing that remains the same today is that Bill Pullman still pretty much sucks.
Isn’t that whole scenario funny?! Yea? I guess you find teenage depression amusing. Way to be a dick.