Happy Friday, my pets! I'm coming off of a nutty week and finally have time for an entry. It's going to be mind bloggling! Sorry for the wordplay- like I said, this week's been hectic and my brain feels like a fried egg. Wait, I'm not sorry. I live for lame wordplay. But this is not what I want to talk with you about.
Often times, the voice inside my head doesn't sound like the voice that ends up coming out of my mouth (somehow this sounds so vulgar). I don't mean this in an "I hate the way my voice sounds on tape" kind of way, although I totally get that. I still can't listen to the recording of me singing "Leaving on a Jet Plane" at the 7th grade talent show even though it's been however many years since then. What I mean is that sometimes I'll move to say something and it will come out completely crazy. And these are just normal sentences like "are we out of milk?," not naturally crazy sentences like "what do you think a burger made of Candace Cameron would taste like?" (readers?)
The other day, I was in a coffee shop studying when some dude approached and asked if he could take my table's vacant chair. Nobody was joining me and I didn't need a foot rest, so I just said, "Yeah, sure" and then went back to reading Faulkner or what have you.
WRONG. That's what I thought to have happen, but what actually happened was this:
Gentleman: May I take this chair?
PQK: (snapping her head up, eyes full of crazy) YES, PLEEEEEEEEEEASE!
Gentleman: (pauses; looks at floor; looks at chair; looks at PQK; takes chair; walks away)
Other examples of this happening in my life:
In a public restroom:
Girl: Excuse me, do you have a tampon?
PQK: SURE!
(what could be more creepy than someone who's REALLY excited to give you a tampon?)
Or sometime the slip is more action based:
Running into a classmate:
PQK: God, I run into you everywhere! (proceeds to walk into door)
(note: this happened to me today)
Does this happen to you, readers? For me, it's actually a blessing that most of these entries are typed. If anything is demonstrated by the above scenarios, who knows. I may have actually sung "does this happen to you" out loud, complete with high kicks, and still be none the wiser.
In other news, I really don't want to go to work tonight.
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3 comments:
YES, PLEEEEAAASSEEE
That's my favorite one
A CC burger could only have one flavor -- delicious. And I'm glad you went to work.
Sort of...I plan things out my head before i say them (though somehow almost always end up saying the wrong thing!?) and think it's going to be totally awesome, and after it's been said people just look blankly at me and carry on with what they're doing.
Eg. yesterday i tried telling my buddy a Bill Hicks joke/anecdote - it sounded in my head, exactly the way Hicks told it, but it came out totally wrong and was the most unfunny thing in the world. I can tell because she said she dislikes Hicks if that's how he tells jokes =(
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