Where has my Sunday gone?

Due to some gray (albeit warmer) weather, roomie issues, and very emotionally manipulative music emitting from my itunes' shuffle, I’ve found myself in a good old fashioned self-indulgent funk and it’s you folks that have to pay for it. How? By listening to a one act play called “A Day In The Life: A Pop Quiz Kid Fantasy.”

Setting: A restored Brooklyn brownstone. The walls are all painted in vibrant yet tasteful colors and the furniture is a variety or refurbished vintage pieces. Oriental rugs overlap each other on the gleaming hardwood floors.

A man sits hunched over the breakfast table working on blueprints. He has the personality of The Office’s Jim Halpert and the looks of Pushing Daisies’ Ned. He is called Ned/Jim.

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Ned/Jim (hearing the front door open): Pop Quiz Kid?

The Pop Quiz Kid enters. She is a beautiful successful young woman who is NOT a waitress or a student. She is dressed like this:



Or this:



PQK: Yes, Ned/Jim. It’s me.

N/J: I am SO happy that you’re home. I respect your need for independence, but I won’t lie. My life is brighter when you are here. How was work as at your hip progressive fashion/pop culture magazine?

PQK: It was great. I got a call from Jonny Stuart; he wants me to become a regular correspondent on The Daily Show.

N/J: Wow, that IS great.

PQK: I don’t know. Between writing that new movie for Quirky Director and these regular trips to Paris, I’m just not sure that I’ll have time.

N/J: Being the best boyfriend in the world, I support every decision that you make—Did you lose weight?

PQK: Why yes I did! I am really enjoying exercising and just found out that goat cheese, bacon, fried things, and butter are really good for me!

N/J: Just so I don’t appear like a total pussy, I’m gonna make some edgy joke right now.

PQK: HAHA, you are edgy. Now I will make a sarcastic joke in response.

N/J: Oh, PQK! You are the funniest person ever and I am not intimidated by that or your intelligence. How can we be so well matched?

PQK: Speaking of matching, I found the perfect dress/vest/belt/shoes/coat/hat at the vintage clothes store today and it/they were only five dollars! And I was given these high heels, that I in no way have trouble walking in, for free!

N/J: This is the most glorious life ever.

PQK: Isn’t it though?

N/J: I forgot to mention that I made you dinner and programmed Tivo for all of your favorite trashy programs. Oh, and here’s a pet puppy that I have already trained and will walk whenever you don’t feel like it.

PQK: This is SO us…

N/J: And I’m sure that we are not obnoxious or self indulgent to anybody who happens to be observing us right now. Hey, I have an idea—being two ridiculously good looking people, let’s go have ridiculously good consequence-free sex!

PQK: Can we watch the Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency marathon afterwards?

N/J: Of course we can.


And scene.
Cocktails to everyone who made it through this.