Sunday, March 2, 2008

Where has my Sunday gone?

Due to some gray (albeit warmer) weather, roomie issues, and very emotionally manipulative music emitting from my itunes' shuffle, I’ve found myself in a good old fashioned self-indulgent funk and it’s you folks that have to pay for it. How? By listening to a one act play called “A Day In The Life: A Pop Quiz Kid Fantasy.”

Setting: A restored Brooklyn brownstone. The walls are all painted in vibrant yet tasteful colors and the furniture is a variety or refurbished vintage pieces. Oriental rugs overlap each other on the gleaming hardwood floors.

A man sits hunched over the breakfast table working on blueprints. He has the personality of The Office’s Jim Halpert and the looks of Pushing Daisies’ Ned. He is called Ned/Jim.

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Ned/Jim (hearing the front door open): Pop Quiz Kid?

The Pop Quiz Kid enters. She is a beautiful successful young woman who is NOT a waitress or a student. She is dressed like this:

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Or this:


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PQK: Yes, Ned/Jim. It’s me.

N/J: I am SO happy that you’re home. I respect your need for independence, but I won’t lie. My life is brighter when you are here. How was work as at your hip progressive fashion/pop culture magazine?

PQK: It was great. I got a call from Jonny Stuart; he wants me to become a regular correspondent on The Daily Show.

N/J: Wow, that IS great.

PQK: I don’t know. Between writing that new movie for Quirky Director and these regular trips to Paris, I’m just not sure that I’ll have time.

N/J: Being the best boyfriend in the world, I support every decision that you make—Did you lose weight?

PQK: Why yes I did! I am really enjoying exercising and just found out that goat cheese, bacon, fried things, and butter are really good for me!

N/J: Just so I don’t appear like a total pussy, I’m gonna make some edgy joke right now.

PQK: HAHA, you are edgy. Now I will make a sarcastic joke in response.

N/J: Oh, PQK! You are the funniest person ever and I am not intimidated by that or your intelligence. How can we be so well matched?

PQK: Speaking of matching, I found the perfect dress/vest/belt/shoes/coat/hat at the vintage clothes store today and it/they were only five dollars! And I was given these high heels, that I in no way have trouble walking in, for free!

N/J: This is the most glorious life ever.

PQK: Isn’t it though?

N/J: I forgot to mention that I made you dinner and programmed Tivo for all of your favorite trashy programs. Oh, and here’s a pet puppy that I have already trained and will walk whenever you don’t feel like it.

PQK: This is SO us…

N/J: And I’m sure that we are not obnoxious or self indulgent to anybody who happens to be observing us right now. Hey, I have an idea—being two ridiculously good looking people, let’s go have ridiculously good consequence-free sex!

PQK: Can we watch the Janice Dickenson Modeling Agency marathon afterwards?

N/J: Of course we can.


And scene.
Cocktails to everyone who made it through this.

2 comments:

Librarian Girl said...

I'm raising a glass to you, pally.

Hope you get de-funked soon!

Brian said...

Ha! You are the funniest person ever and I am not intimidated by that or your intelligence. I have to admit, even here in sunny France I caught a little touch of the Feb to March blues. Hope the flowers are blooming and you're feelin' groovy. Drop a line! oconnor (dot) brian at gmail.