Last night, I had a dream that I was dating John Krasinski. A few of you who have tuned in with frequency may have noticed that I have an itty-bitty full blown celebrity crush on J-Kraz, so having a full night of dream-dating him should have been, well, a dream come true. But here’s the thing—when I dream-date someone, it’s never the fantastical event that it ought to be. The dream is generally about me growing tired of quirks that I once found charming or simply being bored by the dream boyfriend. For example, I once had a dream where I was dating Vincent Chase from Entourage. In it, we were walking through an airport and he was going on and on about the legalization of marijuana and wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise. I was all “I can’t wait till we get home to Los Angeles so that I can end this. Word.” See?
Well, in my J-Kraz dream, it was my birthday. He arrived at my party after a bad day at work and in an equally bad mood. Instead of mingling with our guests, he grabbed a beer and sat on the porch. I followed him out there, wanting to let him know how hurt my feelings were because he wasn’t enjoying my party.
“This is so passive aggressive!” I cried. “You can’t even forget about your own shit on my birthday! You’re ruining it!” And on and on and on and on.
All the while, he just stared at the sidewalk and nodded, numbly enduring my emotional outpour.
Serves me right for getting between this:
1 comment:
that outfit is so un-pam. what the hell? i'm extremely jealous of your wine and cheese festivities. after michael scott and jim halpert those are like my two favorite things.
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